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In Diminishment, Spirituality Endures and Endears |
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“Our value lies in what we are and what we have been, not in our ability to recite the recent past.” –Alzheimer's patient The aging process inevitably includes experiences of loss and diminishment. Perhaps nowhere is this more evident than with the serious loss of memory. At Mount Carmel, Sisters coping with Alzheimer's disease or other forms of dementia find a peaceful, welcoming home in Caritas Center , where nurses, pastoral care and wellness staff, and other Sisters focus on creating “moments of joy” for Sisters in the Memory Care Unit. At a certain point, the person with dementia is no longer suffering, and it becomes the responsibility of the caregivers to keep memories alive. So they search for key words that can unlock rich worlds. What brings joy to the lives of these Sisters are memories of their BVM life. Say “novice” or “mission” or “ministry” and the recollections flow in group conversation. Strum an old familiar melody on a guitar and the refrains come easily, the smiles abound. The event may soon be forgotten, but the good feelings remain. Grace Reed, nursing supervisor of the unit, explains that it is important to be “in their reality,” to make these women comfortable and relieve their anxiety as much as possible by validating them. This means giving reassurance that a loved parent is off on a brief errand, for example, rather than saying that the parent is dead. It's telling “therapeutic fibs,” she explains, taking the time to learn a Sister's reality at age 8 by poring over photo albums and listening to the stories. Or, when a resident asks, “What time is it on the mainland?,” the knowledgeable visitor knows this Sister is at that moment living her years of ministry in Hawaii . “We need to be open to what will happen,” adds pastoral care minister Deb Doyle. “You go in and they lead you.” “As the disease progresses, life becomes very simple,” says Grace. “And the Sisters are always gracious and grateful.” An individual may be difficult to cope with in a bathing situation, then express gratitude, “I've said 489 rosaries for you.” Spirituality Continues Prayer ritual and routine are essential. Long term memory remains well into the disease, so praying together before meals, reciting the rosary, and singing the old hymns generate full participation. A Sister may not know where to hold her rosary, and place it over her ears, but she devoutly joins in the shared prayer. “When I bring communion to the Sisters, they say, ‘Thank you so much.' They know what is important,” adds pastoral care minister Donna Schauf, BVM (Blanche). Her colleague Val Lucas often experiences these Sisters having an “Oh!” moment of great reverence when they see her with a chalice and receive the Eucharist. All of life comes together in worship. Many eagerly participate in Sunday to Sunday , a video Scripture study program on the weekly liturgy readings. Questions like, “Who in your life helped you grow in your faith?” spark discussion. Another glimpse into the spirituality of these Sisters comes from the letters they write to their parents and friends. “If we remain open to the Lord's whispering, we might learn what he has planned for each of us personally,” one Sister wrote. Another penned, “If you will trust…then you will see the hand of God.” “This is a journey of faith not only for the persons affected, but for families, friends and caregivers,” Grace said. For these caregivers, it is a joyful, life-giving ministry. “They are so pure and close to God,” says Deb. “When they look at you, it's like God is looking at you. They are so innocent—as close as they're ever going to get to God.” “How could anyone say that Additional resources: About the author: Mira Mosle, BVM is SALT editor and director of communications for the BVM congregation. Return
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