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For some years now, the Liberal Arts Task Force at my place of employment, Clarke College, has grappled with the meaning and definition of “spirituality.” At its most basic level, spirituality is a way of living in relationship. Relationship ripples outward from self to include others, society, global community, the planet, and God, in a wondrously expanding circle. For me, spirituality is also about a “more-than-ness,” a powerful sense that I am more than what science and the secular world says that I am. This involves a powerful intuition that after biology, chemistry and physics have chimed in on who and what I am, much yet remains! My understanding of spirituality involves mystery, wonder, love and a deep conviction that there is truth and goodness beyond the experiences of my daily life. Living in a world which often denies or ignores the spiritual, we are challenged to see the extraordinary in the ordinary, to experience God in the rhythms of our routines. Three of these “rhythms” for me are marriage/family, parish life and work. Marriage I have often told my friends that my favorite sacrament is marriage. It is also my most challenging! Like so many of my married friends, I entered this spiritual relationship when quite young (I was 22 and my wife, Marabeth, was 19). Ideals of true love, fairy tale endings, and that perfect wedding day dominated our engagement and first years of marriage. In reality, marriage is only a beginning, of which the wedding is but one day. There is no perfect marriage because there are no perfect people. And the “messiness” of life is a reality to which marriages must creatively and effectively respond. Over our nearly 30 years of marriage, Marabeth and I have learned to make faith an integral part of our relationship, to understand our journey together as a holy experience with an ongoing challenge to be better and more loving people. And not just toward one another, but towards others, society, world and God as well! We have a daily ritual of sitting down each night for a half hour with a glass of wine and gentle music playing, in order to discuss the unfolding of our day. This grounding involves both the joys and sorrows of our days with encouragement over the former and support over the latter. Parish Life But matrimony is an outward witness as well. My wife and I actively minister to our parish, based on our God given gifts (she does music for liturgy and I minister to the Word). More recently, we have joined a small faith sharing group with four other couples. This too has called us to be more than the immediacy of our lives by encouraging us to find meaning in desert periods, and challenging us to avoid complacency and move beyond our current experience of the spiritual. Family Life Just as I entered marriage with unrealistic expectations about this relationship, and no real lived experience of it, so too did my wife and I begin parenthood. I knew from my own rearing that there were things I was committed to passing on to my children while there were also things that I wanted to do quite differently. Nonetheless, I found myself reflexively parenting exactly as my parents had done, even in ways that I had affirmed I wouldn't. It took great effort, prayer and trial and error to become a better parent. I had to learn that children can make poor and even hurtful decisions, that parenting, like all aspects of life, is tinged with both joy and sorrow. Above all, as parents, Marabeth and I learned the true meaning and power of unconditional love. More than anything else, this has defined my understanding of what it means to be a spiritual person. Work At Clarke College, I have much more than a job. I experience my service there as a vocation, just as I do marriage and parenting. At Clarke we take our mission very seriously and, thus, what we hold important closely intersects with BVM Core Values. We are the oldest continuously existing BVM mission, just ten years younger than the congregation itself. For over 160 years we have been empowering students with freedom, education, charity and justice. In our most recent general education reforms at Clarke College we have mainstreamed spirituality into the curriculum. It is one of four broad outcomes for the liberal arts core of the education we provide. Before this change, some of us on the faculty taught about, and from the perspective of, spirituality. And of course, campus ministry has long been an oasis of spiritual growth. Now, however, every Clarke student will learn about spirituality, its value, and how to integrate it into one's life and world. We even have a rubric for evaluating spiritual growth! Taking Time As I reflect upon spirituality in daily life, I am impressed by the need to set time aside for it. “I will come to you in the silence,” is a lyric from a popular liturgical song and it rings oh, so true to me. More often it is in quietude that our creator speaks to us. We need to set aside time for this, especially in a culture that is defined by constant sensation. But this is but the beginning, for spirituality is more than God and I, it is God and others. As an Associate I have a deepening realization of this, one which spurs me on to fuller personhood by way of living in relationship to self, others, society, global community, world and God. About the author: BVM Associate Norm Freund is professor of philosophy at Clarke College, Dubuque, Iowa. Return to Table of Contents. |
